Never Felt So Unlove </3 .
this is turning into something i aint hip to . i know we haven't spoken for awhile but i was thinking about you & our time spent together , it kind of make me smile & how i wish time will rewind . so many things to say & im putting it in this post . i am not expecting you to reply or what but i just want you to read about how i feel throughout these few months . i dont know why am i writing this even thou i feel that there's not a need to because you wont really care about it anw because it's shit to you . but for sure , i am putting down my moutains of egos just for you to write this piece & i guess i will feel better and able to move on completely(maybe) after i tell you how i feel . ive never do this for any other guys but for you , im doing this .
what happened to our love and those promises you made in those letters that youve wrote for me ? telling me how much you need me in your life , marrying me on your 18th birthday... it's probably true that promises are meant to be broken .
it seems like all along , whenever something happens between us th reason will always be me . i do admit at times im unreasonable , my attitude is intolerable & my words are harshed & hurt you in a way or other . but have you ever spare a thought for me ? like why am i angry of you ? why am i being so unreasonable ? have you ever think of how i feel ? putting all the blames on me from the troubles you caused. ask yourself how many mistakes you made & compare to the amount of mistakes i made . you know forgiving is not easy and you went through it . how many times have i forgive you ? and moreover , all the issues are major . to tell you the truth , it really hurt me deeply and those scars remain , it just that i chose to keep inside . i somehow manage to put th past behind us because i want to start afresh . but why is it that when we're fine together , another problem arouses ? & it goes all over again . i know , it's partially because of my stupid attitude but i just feel insecure & i am so unsure of your feeling for me & i think alot . everything bottle up in my mind , i do really get frustrated , you get it ?? everytime when i ask you qns like do you still love me / miss me ? you dont seem to treat it seriously & i know you'll say , that's what i used to do in the past . but hey , think of it . how can i accept such a tremendous change from you in such a short time . you were my everything in the past and i got so used to having you by my side . you beside me almost 24/7 , & everywhere i go you will be w me . you always ask me to give you time and have a lil more patience between us . time flies and it's dragging way too long . while youre out there having fun , busy w your things . i am here waiting for you . do you know how tired is it to wait for you ? & to even wait for you to come home and talk to me online . what hurts th most is that you dont really reply & seriously i felt not much difference compared to all your other ex-s , its just like the way you treated them . i dont know but that's just how i feel .
you know it is so easy for us to get back , i dont expect much now & i understand youre busy w your things . i dont expect you spending time w me everyday because i know your friends dont spend time w their girlf often & you probably want to be the same like them . yes , i understand & i am willing to give in so much for you despite all the horrible shits you did to me . this is silly but that's how much i love you & i dont expect you to give in to me because i know you cant & i rlly understand . all i want from you is your concern , your love and you to be faithful and i am really not expecting much from you like how i used to .
call this a karma for me or whatever & i blame myself for hiding my feelings from you & maybe that's the reason why you feel insecure and unsure as well , i dont know or maybe both of us are taking each other for granted because we both know that we wont be able to move on & yes , i am still stuck here but for you , i guess it's a different thing now . i am trying so hard to get you out of my mind these few days . i tried & i tried , but it dosent get any better . i really didnt mean to ramble on but there's alot of feelings remain since youve been gone & there's always something right there to remind me of you. when i hear our song , going crazy . i get the same old feelings .
i seriously dont know why am i writing this , i know it's useless now really !! probably you aint reacting to it & im accepting it but ...
p/s , im still not over you .
what happened to our love and those promises you made in those letters that youve wrote for me ? telling me how much you need me in your life , marrying me on your 18th birthday... it's probably true that promises are meant to be broken .
it seems like all along , whenever something happens between us th reason will always be me . i do admit at times im unreasonable , my attitude is intolerable & my words are harshed & hurt you in a way or other . but have you ever spare a thought for me ? like why am i angry of you ? why am i being so unreasonable ? have you ever think of how i feel ? putting all the blames on me from the troubles you caused. ask yourself how many mistakes you made & compare to the amount of mistakes i made . you know forgiving is not easy and you went through it . how many times have i forgive you ? and moreover , all the issues are major . to tell you the truth , it really hurt me deeply and those scars remain , it just that i chose to keep inside . i somehow manage to put th past behind us because i want to start afresh . but why is it that when we're fine together , another problem arouses ? & it goes all over again . i know , it's partially because of my stupid attitude but i just feel insecure & i am so unsure of your feeling for me & i think alot . everything bottle up in my mind , i do really get frustrated , you get it ?? everytime when i ask you qns like do you still love me / miss me ? you dont seem to treat it seriously & i know you'll say , that's what i used to do in the past . but hey , think of it . how can i accept such a tremendous change from you in such a short time . you were my everything in the past and i got so used to having you by my side . you beside me almost 24/7 , & everywhere i go you will be w me . you always ask me to give you time and have a lil more patience between us . time flies and it's dragging way too long . while youre out there having fun , busy w your things . i am here waiting for you . do you know how tired is it to wait for you ? & to even wait for you to come home and talk to me online . what hurts th most is that you dont really reply & seriously i felt not much difference compared to all your other ex-s , its just like the way you treated them . i dont know but that's just how i feel .
you know it is so easy for us to get back , i dont expect much now & i understand youre busy w your things . i dont expect you spending time w me everyday because i know your friends dont spend time w their girlf often & you probably want to be the same like them . yes , i understand & i am willing to give in so much for you despite all the horrible shits you did to me . this is silly but that's how much i love you & i dont expect you to give in to me because i know you cant & i rlly understand . all i want from you is your concern , your love and you to be faithful and i am really not expecting much from you like how i used to .
call this a karma for me or whatever & i blame myself for hiding my feelings from you & maybe that's the reason why you feel insecure and unsure as well , i dont know or maybe both of us are taking each other for granted because we both know that we wont be able to move on & yes , i am still stuck here but for you , i guess it's a different thing now . i am trying so hard to get you out of my mind these few days . i tried & i tried , but it dosent get any better . i really didnt mean to ramble on but there's alot of feelings remain since youve been gone & there's always something right there to remind me of you. when i hear our song , going crazy . i get the same old feelings .
i seriously dont know why am i writing this , i know it's useless now really !! probably you aint reacting to it & im accepting it but ...
p/s , im still not over you .
Labels: unlove .
posted by jocelyntan at
12:40 AM
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