That's Life.

woke up @ 3pm this afternoon & i totally felt refreshed . its been long since i last had a good long sleep . last few days were like living in hell , seriously . it's probably the darkest point of my life . i did silly things that i know i shouldnt do & im glad i have step out of it . not fully but at least it's a good start . ive been through alot this year , lost a few & gain a few . got stabbed , being made used and got hurt badly . ive learn how to make decision wisely , treasure those who loves me & learn to accept things in a hard way . just because i never plan for my future properly , i quitted school on impulse for my dream & came to realise , i am not ready to lead that new life but thank god , i found my way and i know what to do in the next following year & of course , i have to be stern to the decision i made .  i thought by giving in and to do whatever you can for a friend is a form of showing how much you treasure this friendship and your love for them but it seems like people tends to take things for granted . i thought by forgiving a person and giving them a chance , things could really start afresh but yes , things still remain the same . everything backfired on me & i got fooled and hurt badly , so much for being soft hearted and forgiving .

i know i am not perfect and everyone makes mistake ,  that's why i am willing to forgive and forget no matter how bad you treated me in the past. you can make a complete fool out of me , you can say whatever you want to others , you can bring me down for all you want . i can tolerate your nonsense as long as i can but please know your limit . just because i remain in silence and never do anything back to you dosent mean im afraid of you . it's because i still regard you as my friend and i dont want to make things ugly . afterall , i dont think i am a very nice person to mess with .

i realised that this world is so scary & cruel , this real world . as i grow older , i encounter all different sets of problem . my love one can turn their back on me overnight and leave just like this over something in their life . some stab me just to get what they want . this is how ungrateful people can be despite of all the things you had done for them & i wonder how many more will there be to come . but on the other hand , i dont hate them , i seriously dont . in fact i should thank them cause this is where i learn and open up my eyes to see people clearly & it's not easy for one to get together with the other one out of so many to share your laughter , pain and tear . afterall , these people were there for you once and left you with good memories .

i am not a person who is good in expressing myself and often got mistaken for being heartless & cold & not appreciate things for what they had done for me but deep down , i really appreciate alot for what others had done for me , be it friends / lover .

i can be the most childish bitch on earth & said fucking nasty words to you when i am angry but at the end of the day , i actually dont mean what i said .

& i want to say thank you to those who were there for me & let me know that i am not alone .
love you !